Even though I’ve had a birthday to look forward to once a year, I’ve never really paid much attention to the weeks/days leading up to it. Mostly because I’m still convinced that I haven’t aged beyond 18 and turning into whatever age you have become always sounded so strange to me.
Person: “Hey, so you’re turning 33? Good for you, pal.”
I’m not even sure if my imaginary person I’m having this conversation with would actually say pal, but indulge me for a bit.
Me: “Yep, well, I guess so. Haven’t put much thought into it.”
Person: “You know what they say about turning double digits?”
Me: “No. I don’t.”
Person: “Me neither, actually, I just forgot where I was going with that. Anyways, congrats.”
Instead of mentioning that I’m turning 33, I think I’m just going to say I’ve somehow “turned” 11, three times now.
And many more.
Next time you apply for that dream job, just stop, stop using that disingenuous cover letter. You don’t want to end up on the bottom of a pile of tired-looking papers or worse yet, tossed in the trash.
I can’t promise you’ll be hired after using this, but you’ll probably receive a call back.
To whom it may concern, I know how to do life. Don’t even have to look at the stuff I’ve done in the past because my future belongs here.
Signed, See you on Monday.