Top Ramen, Maruchan, and Cup o’ Noodles are the primary food source for a college student and anyone on a budget. Just look at cinematic history and you’ll find this reference to instant soup on the run in the movie The Jerk with actor and writer Steve Martin. The slow, mild-mannered Navin Johnson is the only adopted son of black sharecroppers. He decides early on that his destiny awaits him as he leaves the farm and begins a journey full of hilarity and invention.

Navin (Martin) lives on Cup o’ Noodles throughout the extent of this hilarious madcap of a movie. It’s his favorite food and you really can’t blame him, he is an idiot. Yet, we as the audience love him for his simplicity and good nature.

If you’re in the mood for Top Ramen, I’d suggest picking up a copy of The Book of Ramen: Lowcost Gourmet Meals Using Instant Ramen Noodles by Ron Konzak.

Disclaimer: The following is 100% fabricated and was written by me purely for the amusement of a few friends, family and co-workers. Up until now, it has been hidden in the vintage kartooner.com (circa 2000) archives so I figured I’d unearth it and share it with whomever was interested.

For the past twelve years, a research team located in Pillsbury, Minnesota has been searching for the answer to ketchup without tomato-based ingredients. Dr. David Motaja mentioned the idea originally while visiting a local restaurant after realizing his dislike for tomatoes and craving for ketchup.

“It essentially started as an idea of possibly creating ketchup without the need for tomatoes. Ever since I was a child my dislike for the red vegetable fruit has increased exceptionally. People who love ketchup but are disgusted by tomatoes have no choice. I felt it was a task to be completed by the year 2000″.

Dr. Motaja contacted his colleague Dr. Charles Groper and the two discussed a few possibilities. As Groper explains, “David came to me with a brilliant idea. Usually the case being that we research someone elses failed hypothesis. Here we were able to test something new, needless to say I was ecstatic. Give or take a few weeks, the project eventually started in December 1988. Our initial task was to recruit a team of scientists from different backgrounds. Usually a process like this can take months so we decided to just pick people off the streets and toss them in a lab.”
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I couldn’t agree more with Dan Cederholm’s sentiment of Alton Brown and his Food Network show, Good Eats. He is cool and for good reason. Never have I been as interested in a cooking show, aside from the occassional viewing of Iron Chef or Graham Keer, as I’ve been in Good Eats and it’s all due to Alton’s fast-paced performance. As Dan explains, Alton “is a genius at explaining superior cooking techniques in a way that’s entertaining—even humorous.”

On a more recent episode, Alton delved into the history of the common sweet potato. Maybe ignorance is bliss but I never knew a yam and a sweet potato were one in the same. I also learned on this particular episode that if you’re hunting for a good waffle maker avoid buying the plastic versions and instead go for a solid medal machine. In one particular scene in the show, Alton casually drags an extension cord into the home appliance section of what looked like Target or Walmart and proceeded to try out every machine. As he is doing this, the security guard is discussing with who appears to be the store manager about the disadvantages of a cheaper plastic waffle iron as opposed to the mightier and cost-effective medal varieties.

In just one episode I learned about the history of sweet potatos (and yams), in addition to the right choice for a waffle iron. If that’s not good television I don’t know what is.

Ever gone to a wedding and admired the cake? Sometimes people will go to great lengths to make the wedding experience a memorable one and this even attributes itself to having a cake that concludes the experience in a confectionary way.

Some people will go down to the local bakery (such as the Little Bakery in my area) and approach the baker about what they would like on their cake. Usually this consists of pretty flowers and scrumptious filling, maybe a figurine or two attached on the top and creamy frosting.

Then, there are the other kind of people who opt for a custom cake, something with pizazz. If you or someone you know wants something different then Krispy Kreme has an alternate choice for you.

That’s right, the Krispy Kreme wedding cake is the new cake in town. According to Krispy Kreme Chief Executive Ron Rupocinski “This is still in it’s infancy . . . but it’s taking off.”

Thus proving that there is something for everyone. Just think, you could replace the candy-shelled peanuts with minature Krispy Kreme donuts and even have Donut-flavored drinks, how about the Krispy Kreme mascot roaming around entertaining your guests?

Wait, is there even a Krispy Kreme mascot?