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Bucketkicking

There are a few things I’d like to accomplish in my life before my time comes. Many of these will probably never happen while others have a greater chance of actually being fulfilled.

It’s not matter of when but how and using what for most, but for the sake of posterity and for fun here they are:

Jamaican Bobsledding

I’m not sure who to thank, Cool Runnings or John Candy, but I’d love to represent and make Jamaica proud by sliding down an icy slope with other strangers as crazy as me.

Be a Reality Talent Show Judge

Just sit, nitpick, joke, blink. Rinse & repeat.

Finish Super Mario Bros.

Sometimes I lay in bed at night, totally forget about life’s other worries (bills, squirrels in attic, etc.) and dwell on the fact that I’ve never completely finished SMB.

Run for Office, Win and Quit

At least I’d have a bunch of lawn flags for souvenirs.

Trade a paperclip for a stapler

It’s never happened before. Never.

Learn “Rocket Science”

Next time someone says, “This isn’t rocket science…”, I can reply; “Well, duh.” and then flash my street cred.

Swim alongside Whales

I have a real fear of deep ocean water. Pulling this off would be nothing short of a miracle, plus whales, how cool would that be?

Trade a stapler for gold popcorn

Solid. Gold. Popcorn.

Climb Mt. Fiji

Why? To bottle the best-tasting water myself.

Paint a Masterpiece

Sell said masterpiece for $23 million, invest $13 million and use the rest to buy Blue Flavor.

Leap off a high ledge into a river filled with Jello

My limited knowledge of basic physics tells me this might be a bad idea. (Note to self: Write the Mythbuster guys about this one.)

Color “outside” the lines

I’ve never once in 20+ years been able to break this rule. It doesn’t seem right.

Sail on a Pirate Ship

Parrot on shoulder (must take AA batteries), fake peg leg and a chest full of gold foil wrapped chocolate.

Build a Robot

Program it to say “Dis-assemble”, “Innn-put” and “Stephanie”. The last one he’d have to shout endlessly.

Learn Sign Language

For all the good reasons and so I won’t miss out on things, plus silent conversation is nice.

Take the family to Europe

Experience culture shock at its finest and for the souvenirs of course.

6 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. This looks like a meme in the making.

  2. Well, this would be an accidental meme if someone ran with it. I compiled this list in my Moleskin and figured this was a good a place as any to share it.

    I do plan on checking a few of these off my list before I’m 96.

  3. Never finished SMB. Wish I did. Try I must.

    Fail I will.

  4. Pauly D: If one of us is able to accomplish this feat before we’re 96 years old, we’ll have to celebrate for sure.

  5. Nice list, an entertaining read.

    Looks like I can relate to some of those.

    Hate to say, I’ve finished SMB. It’s a little overrated. :)

  6. John Williamson

    Regarding “Color ‘outside’ the lines”
    When asked why he colored outside the lines, Dennis the Menace replied, “Because there’s more room there”. Perhaps a precursor to the concept “Thinking outside the box”?

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