Invention Contention
September 22, 2005
There’s an episode of the Simpsons where Homer, in complete disgust of how uneventful his 38.1 years have been, decides to use Thomas Edison as a mentor to invent new things in his shadow. He believes by following in Edison’s footsteps he’ll be able to give meaning to his otherwise drab life.
After testing a series of inventions on his family, including a shotgun-projecting makeup gun and an electric hammer, he settles on what he considers his most prized invention; a chair with emergency kickstand legs for someone who tilts too far back. However, no sooner is he excited at this new prospect he realizes while closely looking at a photo of Edison, that Edison himself invented the exact same thing a couple hundred years prior.
He then — with Bart’s help — attempts to destroy the chair at an Edison museum with his electric hammer and eventually reconsiders his plan of destruction. Being the absent-minded guy Homer is, he leaves behind his electric hammer invention and the media mistakens it for a missing Edison invention.
Over the years I’ve come up with silly inventions that wouldn’t necessarily change the world, but it’s possible they might make someone else’s job easier. For example, I was a janitor for 6 years and often I’d come up with little inventions to streamline the cleaning process. One of which was a solar-powered vacuum that would operate without the need for a cord, which is a hassle in itself when architects and building planners forget to put in a sufficient amount of outlets.
There were many instances where outlets would be several feet apart and if you only have a 30–40 foot cord to work with you begin to understand why it becomes an issue. Even with the aide of an extension, it still can be a pain to mentally map out how you can get from Point D to Point G.
I’m sure a cordless (non-battery powered) vacuum patent is filed somewhere at the US Patent Office, but it’s odd that we’ve never seen nor heard of something similiar on the market. As is the case for many patented inventions, the reasons for that particular invention not being manufactured boils down to cost. If it’s too expensive to create the product then it’ll just sit in limbo until the supplies become cheaper, of if the invention itself can be modified.
Often I wonder when the hovercraft from Back to the Future will make its debut or the personal flying machine that was supposedly going to be a welcome package for the 21st century, at least according to the movies. What ever happened to the cities above the clouds and below the ocean? For the time being these ideas will remain pure science fiction until the Wright Brothers of our time make them reality.
Are there any inventions that you’ve come up with or ones you’ve heard about that you would like to see the light of day?
10 comments
To answer your question about the personal flying machine and flying cars: I’m reminded of an IBM commercial I saw about a year ago where the guy’s standing in front of a freeway saying “where are all the flying cars?” and then he says that the reason why we never bothered with them was because of the Internet. That, because we’re able to communicate so quickly over such vast areas via the ‘net, it negates the need to fly really fast a-la Jetsons to the person you need to communicate with. I guess you could say telecommuting killed the flying car (star).
Cool invention BTW, the solar powered vacuum.
by Ara Pehlivanian on September 22, 2005 at 10:49 am. #
Ara: I believe I can understand the logic in that statement, even if it’s a bit faint. Too bad though, I really want to zip around above the cluttered roads. One thing I’ve wondered about, in regards to flying cars, is how would you land one?
by kartooner on September 22, 2005 at 11:42 am. #
I use a cordless vacuum every day. It’s just smaller than the normal ones. But it works!
by Pauly D on September 22, 2005 at 11:56 am. #
Sure I have — as in salad bars. Not as in a restaurant offering ‘rabbit food’ mind you, but more literally — like granola bars, but done with vegetables, dressing pack (and frozen of course). Sort of like a solid V-8 if you will. It would be a perfectly guilt-less snack for those who can’t wait until lunch or dinner, yet have a hard time finding a snack that doesn’t compromise their calories count or is basically unhealthy. And well, as daily life becomes more demanding and accelerated it’s just getting harder to find time to cook. If you see frozen burritos being sold I can’t see why something like this couldn’t be done.
by beto on September 22, 2005 at 12:48 pm. #
I’d like someone to develop a really large helmet (think Spaceballs) that rips the blog posts out of my brain, types them up and posts them to my site. Is that really too much to ask? Where are you when I need you Edison?
Also, if someone could invent a self-coiling water hose for my neighbor, that would be fantastic.
by Greg on September 22, 2005 at 1:06 pm. #
Pauly D: I forgot about the good ol’ Black and Decker handheld, cordless vacs. Those don’t count however since I was referring to mostly commercial vacuums.
Beto: Nifty idea, Alberto! A solidified V8 stick for those on the run, now why didn’t I think of that?
Greg: An automated blogging helmet would be nice indeed. However, just how automated would it be? Could you doublecheck to make sure you didn’t include any non-relevant thoughts?
For instance, thinking to yourself; “Man, I really need to exfoliate.” I’m pretty sure people reading about “Salad Bars” would seem it to be a bit jarring if all of a sudden they read you needed to shed skin.
by kartooner on September 22, 2005 at 2:17 pm. #
Yea, I have an invention I am still looking into. I really don’t want to give it out at this time (yes, I am paranoid of people stealing it
), but have you ever been to a Home-A-Rama. We have them here in Indianapolis, and it’s basically where you can go view these multi million dollar homes that are just LUSH. They are amazing.
My invention would be for the bedroom and it includes flowing water. I have no idea if it’s been invented yet (hope not). However, it’s the type of invention that probably only rich people would have an interest in. That could be a good thing if it can actually make money.
Nice design Erik. I like it.
by Bryan on September 22, 2005 at 3:49 pm. #
One time I met someone who had invented a toilet plunger — I can’t temember what it did better than the regular toilet plunger, but it did sound good. I asked him if he had applied for a patent. He said that he hadn’t. Had anyone else? Shrug of shoulders. So, I went on-line and about 20 minutes later I printed out ‘his’ plunger. Sure enough, someone held a patent on it and had for a while.
I think that inventors are born, not made. Otherwise why would some people be constantly inventing things? As to the solar-powered vacuum — think about all the windows you’d need. And waht about in the winter when the sun is low? The battery-powered ones don’t work worth piss. they’re only good for small jobs.
My problem is that I’m always ‘eating’ the cord of the vacuum with the suction. Not good for longevity of said vacuum or user.
by anon on September 25, 2005 at 3:24 pm. #
anon: Yeah, I suppose you’re right about the disadvantages of having a solar-powered vacuum on hand, but there’s that sliver of hope that it would actually benefit someone out there in the field of cleaning.
Every invention has its pluses and minuses as far as usability and design is concerned.
Sad, but true.
by kartooner on September 25, 2005 at 11:27 pm. #
About your vacuum idea. I don’t think the whole battery powered vacuum couldn’t work currently as we don’t have batteries that are light enough but powerful enough to power a vacuum for an extended period of time. Plus you run into problems of batteries losing strength over time (ie. the iPod) and needed replacing, which would be very expensive for a battery that large.
as for why things like flying cars and meals that are the size of a pill don’t exist yet, would be that even by today’s standards these are rediculous ideas. Not only were they outlandish in the 50’s, by even today in 2006 it seems unlikely we will see them in our lifetime.
Just my thoughts.
by Seth Kravitz on January 6, 2006 at 5:45 pm. #