In George Carlin’s book, Brain Droppings, Carlin lists his favorite oxymorons, including but not limited to:
- Assistant Supervisor
- Original Copy
- Limited Lifetime Guarantee
- Forward Lateral
- Partial Cease-Fire
- Uninvited Guest
- Full-time Day Care
- Business Ethics
Just in case you didn’t know, according to Hyperdictionary an oxymoron (pronounced: `âksi’mowrân) means “conjoining contradictory terms”.
Do you have any favorite oxymorons to share? Leave a comment and maybe this will turn into a repository of oxymorons to use in daily conversation.
I’ll start this off with:
Natural Artificial Flavor
Military Intelligence
Jumbo Shrimp
All Alone
Pretty Ugly
Sweet Tart
Almost Always
Microsoft Works
Willful Negligence
Virgin Birth
Stealth Bomber
Peace Offensive
Deregulation Law
Insane Logic
Exact Estimate
Taped Live
How about…
Graduate Student
Found Missing
Great Depression
Legally Drunk
Jobless Recovery
Fresh Frozen
Near Miss
These are great so far.
Scott, I like “Almost Always” because I almost always use that.
Simon, “Microsoft Works”? Classic.
Greg, I’m digging “Graduate Student”. I’m not there yet, but when I am I’ll have to wear a t-shirt or something.
John, I’m guessing you wouldn’t touch that with a 80-foot pole, “fresh frozen” is kind of scary, don’t you think? That’s insansely contradictory but you do see it alot in the frozen fish section of your local grocery store or market.
A few comes to mind:
Act Naturally
Virtual Reality
Soft Rock (Soft Porn, too!)
Pretty Ugly
Civil War
I object to insane logic! There’s nothing wrong with insanity ;)
flickr.com...
Y’know fresh frozen, is quite an American thing as far as I know but in the UK the advertisers have started sneaking it in, in very British fashion… “all our food is freshly frozen at the source”.. ahem! scary stuff indeed… There is even one ad where they show live fish etc in plastic shopping bags, the tale being, freezing it is the only way they can get it to you as fresh as if it was live, local produce… local produce there’s an irony, if not an oxymoron… anyway sorry about that, the state of food the western world consumes winds me up!
Windows Security
New and Improved
Almost Never
Bitter Sweet
Clearly Confused
Reality TV
and
President Bush (oh wait, you said oxymoron, my bad)
how about REAGAN MEMOIRS ???
[…] these are brilliant (via Joshuaink). […]
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