August 31st, 2004 with .
What’s with these drivers that feel they own the road? They either drive too fast, too slow and rarely a happy medium. It’s no wonder so many accidents occur during the day with people ignoring basic laws.
I’ve seen people perform the following tasks while driving:
- Put on makeup with their eyes darting from compact mirror to rear-view mirror
- Reading a book with one hand (or both hands)
- Scarfing down Taco Bell and smashing the remainders on the wheel and
- Perform a mad dash attempt to pick up whatever they dropped
August 29th, 2004 with .
There are those of us who are right-brained and those of us who are left-brained, just as there are people more involved in logistics than aesthetics. That is, you might be the best mime in the world but not the greatest public speaker.
It doesn’t have to stay that way however. Before he was famous, Rush Limbaugh worked at a local radio station. In an effort to work his way to the top he made sure he did everything, even if it wasn’t in his job description. He cleaned toilets, brought donuts and coffee to fellow workers and even mopped the floors. The payoff was that Rush climbed the ladder of success and was promoted to station manager. When you hear someone complain about emptying the trash at work, think of Rush and think of what impression you might make on someone, higher level or not.
August 27th, 2004 with .
Disclaimer: The following is 100% fabricated and was written by me purely for the amusement of a few friends, family and co-workers. Up until now, it has been hidden in the vintage kartooner.com (circa 2000) archives so I figured I’d unearth it and share it with whomever was interested.
For the past twelve years, a research team located in Pillsbury, Minnesota has been searching for the answer to ketchup without tomato-based ingredients. Dr. David Motaja mentioned the idea originally while visiting a local restaurant after realizing his dislike for tomatoes and craving for ketchup.
“It essentially started as an idea of possibly creating ketchup without the need for tomatoes. Ever since I was a child my dislike for the red vegetable fruit has increased exceptionally. People who love ketchup but are disgusted by tomatoes have no choice. I felt it was a task to be completed by the year 2000″.
Dr. Motaja contacted his colleague Dr. Charles Groper and the two discussed a few possibilities. As Groper explains, “David came to me with a brilliant idea. Usually the case being that we research someone elses failed hypothesis. Here we were able to test something new, needless to say I was ecstatic. Give or take a few weeks, the project eventually started in December 1988. Our initial task was to recruit a team of scientists from different backgrounds. Usually a process like this can take months so we decided to just pick people off the streets and toss them in a lab.”
August 26th, 2004 with .
Clash of the Titans is an awesome live-action stop-motion hybrid film made in the early 80s. It starred none other than the infamous Harry Hamlin as the heroic Perseus. Fans of Greek myths like me know that Perseus’s stories were always the coolest. Notably, Perseus’s encounter with the Medusa, a woman or thing with snakes for hair and the power to turn anyone who glanced at her to stone.
Perseus in a moment of heroism, and let’s be honest trying to save himself from being turned to stone, reflects her gaze with his shield and therefore due to the rubber and glue effect transfers the curse back to her thus turning her to stone. Sweet poetic justice if you ask me.
